8 weeks in, so much for my promise.

During those heady days in San Diego over Christmas break, I had grand ideas of writing more this year, getting some serious writing projects finished (in hopes of making some money in this field) and generally not being such a hermit.

Well, it's the end of February and while I have written quite a bit of disjointed thoughts I haven't seen fit to share any with the rest of the world. The other projects need some attention too. Oh well, as I always say; "I'm getting to it".

Regardless, I have been longing for my days as a restaurant reviewer and have been keeping some notes. These are silly thoughts about Fast Food, but I thought I would put this up for someone who asked my opinion on a couple of items.

More writing to come. As the days get longer, my mood elevates and writing becomes less of a chore.

And now, some stupid thoughts on Fast Food:

Best Quality Boutique Fast Food is: 5 Guys Burgers & Fries
It's simply always fresh and cooked to order. You can configure the burger to please any personal tastes you have. Opinions can vary on the fries, but if you don't like them, the burger should more than make up for it.
**I call it boutique because they aren't everywhere and it is a level more expensive than regular fast food places

Best Regular Fast Food: Wendy's
Reliable, freshly cooked (unless it's within an hour of closing) and no more expensive than other crap out there.
Wendy's always seems to have a slightly better class of employees and cleaner restaurants than many other fast food establishments

Worst Regular Fast Food: Burger King Breakfasts
Burger King is all microwaved food and for breakfast, it simply ruins the damn food. The croissant/bun/biscuit, whatever always gets soggy and almost 90% of the time, regardless of the BK I have gone to, the damn center of the sandwich is still cold. Learn how to microwave you damn monkeys...
I have gotten frozen Jimmy Dean sandwiches at the grocery that I microwave and they come out a hundred percent better than everything at BK.

Best drive through when drinking: Taco Bell
The employees just seem to know you have regrets for being there and they take on a Psychologist role and help you through the ordering process. Somehow they are able to convince you to buy a 1/2 pound beef burrito for a dollar fifty nine when in the back of your head you know that you can't buy a half pound of any type of beef in the grocery for that amount.
The sauces, cheeses and alcohol make their "beef" palatable and if you get rid of the wrappers, bag and receipt before you get home it will be a little secret between only you, your colon and your toilet.

Best tasting ripoff: Regular Subway Sandwiches
With Subway, everything is the "upsell". If you dress your sandwich in the restaurant equivalent of leather interior, blue tooth, navigation and HID lights then the sub will be great. Yes, if you get extra meat, bacon and make it a foot long, then you will probably enjoy your subway experience, but if you get the sandwich as it appears on the menu, you're screwed.
For your money you get about 75 cents worth of cold cuts, wilted veggies and a jaw straining about of bread that's only there to make you think you are getting something of value.
They taste pretty good, but Subway isn't a value.

Best Classic: Quarter Pounder with Cheese
What American kid didn't grow up aspiring to the days when he could graduate from the shitty toy sized burger in the Happy Meal to the glorious Quarter Pounder with Cheese that their father ate?
It's an unpretentious sandwich. No frilly additions, it's just an honest burger.
If you are lucky, it will come out fresh from the grill (and not from the brown plastic condensation drawer that McD uses) and it will be greasy.
Regardless of the fact that it's been 20 years since McD meat actually tasted like, or had the consistency of, beef that regular persons can buy, it's the neat combination of chemicals and "stuff" that McDonalds uses to train our brain to believe it's the real thing.
The elemental mood spike and surge of endorphins I can get from a greasy Quarter Pounder with Cheese is amazing. It will kill me, but what is there that's worth it, that won't.

Best thing I have tried this month: BK Burger Shots
Yes, they are fucking microwaved, and yes they come in a 6 pack box and they are oddly connected to each other and it makes it look like you are eating an entire meatloaf by yourself, but there is something good about them.
Since I don't have a White Castle or Krystal in my area where I can soak all of my food shame, these BK Burger Shots will have to suffice. In reality, it's just regular small burgers cut differently and put on cute little buns, but the marketing make it so much more.
The squirt of ketchup and mustard that was certainly metered for the big burgers is KIND OF OVERWHELMING on the tiny treats, but the strong mustard taste fills in for BK's usual wet, microwaved beef taste that they have been going with for the last 20 years.
Get 'em while they are hot (actually, tepid from the microwave) because this marketing genius will certainly be replaced by some other innovation soon.